Big update!

I haven't made a post since January! A lot has happened since then. I found out I was pregnant again in mid-Feburary, and I am now 22 weeks and 2 days pregnant, due October 28th 2010 with another baby girl! We are going to name her Alessa (Ah-Lay-Sah). My fiance has a 3 1/2 yr old daughter whom lives with her mother, and hes battling for partial custody of her right now.

I have a two year old daughter named Mylah, and she will be 2 1/2 when this baby is born. Mylah lives with her paternal grandparents & they have temporary custody of her for the time being . It really sucks not having her live with me, and its something I have to deal with and stress over every day. I was living with her in her father's parents house for up until she turned a year old.. things with her father went down hill and we broke up. Her father was very abusive towards me & we ended up getting a protective order against each other, then I started getting close to my now fiance. I would go over to his apartment and play video games with him to get away from the drama I was living in. I moved out of Mylah's grandparents house and into Pablo's(my fiance) one bed room apartment. Due to Mylah's fathers abusive behavior, DCF had been involved in our lives.. and when I left the grandparent's house I tried to take Mylah with me and move her in with me at my fiance's house but DCF stepped in and said that the apartment we live in is too small and crowded for her....which is not true and there is plenty of room.

So it came down to the grandparents getting temporary guardianship of Mylah. I felt like a failure, like I had abandoned my daughter.. but I know now that I have to work as hard as I can to get her back and find a bigger place for my family so we can be fully united again. I get to see Mylah whenever I want, but its really heartbreaking for me to say good bye at the end of the night. I miss her so much. I miss truly being her mommy and being the sole caretaker of her. I have had many plans of action in getting her back but it seems like everytime something good happens in my life (i get a job) it gets taken away or something just keeps failing no matter how hard I try and that makes me feel defeated and like I have no hope for things to get better.

Right now I dont have a job, my fiance works with his father doing auto repairs. I'm going to college for Business Administration / Medical office management and he is going to school for truck driving. Im hoping that something pays off soon, and we can get more financially stable by the time this baby is born.